Things never heard at the finish line of a triathlon:

1. Boy am I glad I didn’t use the porta potty before the race;
2. Lubricant is overrated;
3. Damn - the finish line is here already;
4. Last night’s tacos were the perfect carbo load;
5. I told you that there was no need to get into the pool;
6. When they told me “you are almost there”, boy were they right;
7. I’m so glad I seeded myself at the front of the swim, it was fun being swum over so many times;
8. I never heard “on your left” the entire ride;
9. Getting the carbon cage was key, better than dropping a few pounds.
10. These races are so inexpensive.
11. Wow, that didn’t hurt at ALL!
12. A few drinks last night didn’t hurt at all, I think they helped.